He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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