I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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