When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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