Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
