can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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