the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
