How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
