At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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