I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
