im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
