So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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