Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
