found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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