Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
