Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
