Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
