I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
