we're blogging at a bar
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
