So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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