I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
