i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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