Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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