I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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