i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
