I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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