my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
