First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
