On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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