my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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