i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
