i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
