If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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