i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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