I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
