For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
