The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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