He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
