so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I wish i was in the wii world.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
