My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
