That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
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