I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
