its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
