i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
