I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I think people are normalizing furries
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
