Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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