I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
