Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
