Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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