I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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