The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
