it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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